Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Trey's Days No. 21

Remembering


    Remembering the page numbers as an exercise, no book mark
37, 57, 78,
    The "Memory of Old Jack" flashing back and forth, 1888, today, 1892, today, the tobacco field
the barber shop, the old house with the new bride, standing on the porch then, standing on the porch now
remembering
     "He was like on old silver back ape, transferring his anxiety onto the women he dominated, enjoyed, sired"
Insulted, knowing it's true, made a stink about it, realized it was true, remembered how true it was.
     Told old Ed about it, who didn't know what a silver back ape was, and told him about "The Memory of Old Jack" and about the work thing, and about the times that excellence had given way to indolence, and he told a story about teaching and anxiety and change and finding a place; much good crying is done there.
     This is a time for late pregnancy, for fecundity, for the moment before Isaac's rain, a time before, a time between, after the silver back has gone his miserable way, a time after baking, a time after the Handel and the Bach, a time before something unknown; Lord knows, always, the Lord knows, but he ain't tellin'.
     The little red stuffed dinosaur reminds, the feed sack cookie jar reminds, Old Jack reminds, Wendell Berry reminds, old Ed reminds, that remembering, it is not too late.
      In their unqualified love, in their obedience, in their rapt attention, in the sweet smell of tender memory, Hope makes her silent presence known, and she hovers like an angel, like a mother over a crib, like a cloud of expectant energy, like a hurricane a day and a half away, coming but yet a clear sky, patient, imminent, yet unknown, expected.  Believe my child.  Soon enough you will know.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Trey's Days No. 20

Eleanor, Ella, Moses, Momma, Daddy, Silence



Eleanor
         
Faithful, strong, fearful, loving
In her eyes love and fear
Black and tan, perfect marks
"That's a beautiful dog" she held her head as if she knew
Ten years on she died quickly, panicked, not wanting to go

Ella

Quick, strong, itchy, striving
In her eyes love and patience
perfect black, shiny, mixed marks
"What kind of dog is that?" she holds her head high, knows it doesn't matter
Going strong, surviving what she has to survive, takes her medicine with peanut butter

Moses

Heaven sent, came at Christmas time
In his eyes pure love, ever pleasing, dumb faith, the sweetie
Chocolate and cinnamon, perfect marks, otter tail
"That's a beautiful dog" he dances with glee, knowing it is true and he is too
The breath of life, sent as he was by angels to cheer a lonely man

Momma

Faithful, strong, fearful, tired, loving to the last
In her eyes love and sadness, joy and silliness, cheering against all odds
"She was a beauty" she never knew it, settled too early, she was a true beauty in the old way
Sixty two years, died hard, twenty-three days struggling against the angel of death, went in a bath of blood
Love softly singing, sweet smelling, gently guiding toward home

Daddy

Fierce, fearful, intense, self absorbed
In his eyes the exactitude of one who punishes details
Short but ponderous, loving but broken
"That son-of-a-bitch" he came to be known to the one he left holding the bag
Went out with a bang
Wake of confusion, cacophony of pain, mystery legacy

Silence

Faithful, eternal, pure love, intense passion, giving, peaceful
In the space, strength, sadness, joy, silliness, cheering against all odds
Perfect, beautiful, knowing, true, it holds itself in stillness, imperturbable
Softly singing, sweet smelling, gently guiding, home